I hate to put this “unmentionable thing” into a Blog however, I was emailing a friend and realized that there a common, secret stage (like menstruation) that women who have worked like fiends their whole life, managed kids, done it all (semi-well) and are late 50ish (60”s, 70′s…GULP!) are facing.
What do we do NEXT?
What is it that makes us happy and that we want to do, not because we were told to, or that we are “good” at or — anything like that?
It is the “mature” stage. It is the invisible stage, when men stop looking at your boobs – yup, which does happen. And, people assume you need help up the stairs (although you have just finished 20 minutes on the stair master.)
I have a clear image of this stage: the stage before my old Italian female relatives began to dress in all black, drink espresso, and sit and wait for people to visit them, so then they could offer them home made pasta and then die (the Italian ladies, not the guests – although an excess of pasta and wine may make one die).
Unfortunately, fortunately, for the old Italian ladies, the dying part sometimes took decades.
No one ever taught me a darn (I am cleaning up my language — and I haven’t said “fuck” once…opps). Since my mom died at 60 I haven’t learned how to manage this stage. Someone taught me how to diaper a kid, how to smoke pot (you didn’t see that), how to teach a teenager to drive, how to manage a meeting like a man. Someone taught me how to manage a lot of things at work like a man. My kids taught me how to became an ATM.
SOME one taught me everything.
This new stage: I was (am?) miserable because of it. Money is not the answer. Or geography. Or a house. Or love. Or… really… what the heck! (and I do mean, what the HELL)… do I know?